Home alone When is mum back, it's been ages!
	2006 Apr 19th It's early morning, real early. There is a whimper from the cot, which slowly builds into a blood curdling screech. Teddy bears, giraffe's and a hedgehog are forcefully ejected over the railings and are hitting the tiled floor with a thud. Carnage is happening over there. Not a pretty sight, but I know what I have to do; brave the animal missiles, because I think Aoife may be waking up. 4:17 am, hmmm long day ahead Thankfully last night I had a limit on my beers, very aware that this could happen. Aoife's mum is gone for 10 days to Denmark. She has gone to an expensive clinic to deal with her coke habit; ok actually she is really gone for a work shop with her organisation but the coke habit just sounds like more fun. 'You should go', 'Could be good for your career', 'It will be good for you to have a break from the monster', 'maybe it will be good for me to have most of the time with her' etc etc. I was the one, I talked her mum into this. I feel like the biggest gobsheen in the history of gobsheendom that there ever has been, of course I could not have shut my mouth and let duckie-poohs talk herself out of it, oh no. Well she is gone now, no turning back. Its going to be fun though, or so I keep telling myself. The lass is extracted from her mini fortress and onto the changing table where she is quickly changed into a pack of cards, but quickly changed back. A bit tired looking so I chuck her into my own bed and surround her with pillows and lie down beside her. She looks relaxed now and gently cooh's and ohh's, rolls into me, puts her feet on my chest and grabs fistfulls of chesthair to pull herself into a standing position. A tear comes to my eye and I don't mean the 'ohh my baby is trying to stand, how cute' nonsense, this is searing pain. Childbirth would be a piece of pee compared to the pain I am in right now. Aoife giggles and giggles, squeaks and then falls asleep. I am reduced to a gibbering wreck. I have caught a few more Z's and wake to the wee one tickling my chin. She has always had a facination with stubble. Fiona left last night on her voyage and I already look like a character out of 'Lost'. She is smiling, giggling and looking cool. Bottle time! I am horrified to find that the bottle fairy has not come and restocked the fridge over night with bottles for the day. Maybe its his day off. I'm baffled, this has never happened before. Baby in one arm, kettle in the other, which I find out is far too hot whilst walking across the kitchen with no where to put it down. Aoife decides the time has come to bungy jump from my under arm hairs while this is all happening. I try not to think of my gold fish that I had when I was a kid which lasted only 2 hours in my care. Only 9 days left to go! 2006 Apr 20th Yesterday was a day of giggles and the good old fashioned chortle has taken on a life of its own. We missed feeds and sleeps due to mums rule of 'quite time' being slightly bent. But still got here to bed early enough. The exhausted girl went to bed with a smile on her face. I am as happy as 'le chien avec deux mickies'! Wayhey I thought, too easy. On my second gin and tonic, I glanced at the time and found it too late to defrost anything to start cooking at this stage of the night. I wish the restaurant around the corner did frequent pizza points. Tomorrow I am cooking. Rang Aoife's mum (mumfi he he) last night and after the usual tears and blubbering she told me to quit being such a wuss and get a hold of myself. 4 am again, feck. 'Lah Lah Lah ohhhh he he' and back asleep, her of course, not me. 5... a bit of the same. 6 am is when the construction had to start. Aoife in the bed and building of the fort castle began. Lot of pillows involved. To save the fairy princess was the game. She gets into action straight away by kicking down the castle walls, climbing over the ruins and drooling (about a litre) in my ear, followed by a giggle, the big save and a emergency run to the changing table. The excitement was just too much. Yesterday we had tried out brocolli and carrot mixed as a dish; maybe I'll wait till her mum gets back before I do that again. funny how little it changes on its trek from one end of the body... ok lets not go there. Nanny and cleaner arrive at 7:30 and take said monster off my hands. I can get some work done today and maybe even a snooze. There are friends staying with us at the moment also so Aoife will not have here room back for two weeks yet. I think when her mum is away that I prefer it this way tho. 8 days, 3 hours and 12 mins to go. People have started coming back to Phnom Penh after the new year celebrations for the Khmer new year and westerners were celebrating Easter on the same weekend, so alas the holiday period ends and its back to the grind stone. Happy new year to you all and I hope that 2549 is as good as the 2548 was for us! 2006 Apr 25th One week over and 2 more sleeps before Mumfi gets back. Not that excited really... really. It has been interesting so far, difficult at first, but more fun now. One thing I have learned about over the last week is organisation, organisation, organisation. Last night I bathed the girl brought her out of the bath and place her on a towel (which I had laid out prior to the shower), put on her nappy (which was left beside the towel), grabbed her babygrow thingie, (again beside the towel), creams, lotions and potions, slapped on a bid and took the wee one to the kitchen where the mug of water was preheated in the microwave. Popped the bottle into the mug to heat for about 20 seconds... just right. Back to the bedroom where the lamps were dimmed, slapped on the diddly diddly music I had cued up in the CD player, cloth for spew wiping at the ready, chuck most of the bottle into the lass. Then I took it out before she finished and chucked her over my shoulder (not like chucking salt over the shoulder, it was kinda more 'onto' as opposed to over the shoulder, BUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRPPPPPPPP, then Aoife did one. Bottle back in, slurped until she fell almost asleep as the bottle finished and into the cot. She rolled onto her side and fell asleep! Super dad has struck again. Living room where pre-pored glass of wine is at the ready, grabed that and into the kitchen where the Lasagne is ready to be served. Scoop it onto a plate back to living room as Comedy night is starting on Star world. All sorted in under 25 mins. Then slowly it dawns on me... I am the best little wife I know, feck... oh no here come the waterworks... I'm a man, I'm a man... Over the weekend, we (Aoife and I) decide to take our house guests to the pub. 'Elsewhere' is run by Natalie and Rob. Its on street 51 in Phnom Penh and is pretty cool to say the least. They have a restaurant, girlie clothing place (made to order stuff), swimming pool (yup a swimming pool) and beer. They even provide entertainment for Aoife in the form of their kid Sacha. So something for everyone. There are worse ways to spend an afternoon. I think over the last week, Friday kind of sticks out. Not like a sore finger, more like a whole septic arm with a neon pointer sign on it. Nanny group descends to our house. Tons of Nannys and babies. Babies everywhere, under tables, swinging from the chandeliers, on the car, under the stairs, I even found two in the fridge. 8:30 am. Socheta has been in since early preparing food for them all. All the footballs that I have bought recently are being put to good use. All the boys are inside. Sugar drinks are being poured down their gullets becuse they just are not 'peppy' enough. Down to my office I go and baracade the doors. A sudden realisation, the houseguests! Andy and Lynne are not expecting this, what will they think when they get up? Feeling much cheered up I smile to myself... and turn up the music, loud. Next time I meet a single parent, I'll buy them a beer. I am here all by myself (except for the cleaner and the nanny of course) and I am 'surviving'. The head is above water, but the jaw line is definately wet. Away from family and well, somewhere to dump the child once every so often is a tad difficult. 16 months, 3 weeks and 2 days till we move back to Europe for good, but who's counting.
	Aoife's main page, the links or backup to the main page at Feicim.com